An army of colors

One of my favorite things to do (as you must know by now) is to write! but I also love taking on other projects, like drawing (which I am really not good at but I keep trying) or finding different magazine articles or pictures and pasting them on boards or doing picture collages of everyone I love.... all these I think I do with the idea of letting my inner artistic side come out and play... it doesn’t always turn out so good though, I tend to give up half way through, realizing I am not that artistic or creative after all...but other times I finish them and display them and sometimes even grow the courage to share them (my mom is one of my best/worse critics, she also agrees drawing isn’t my forte, and doesn’t understand why at 27 years old one would find pleasure in cutting pictures and gluing them on my agendas or posters, or coloring...or buying a ton of stickers and making my own thank-you cards)but then I say... HEY! Life is short and we are blessed to be here as it is, every minute counts so we mind as well make them worth it, do as you please, whatever it is, so long as you keep your soul smiling!!! This is one is for me.

I found this picture online today, and the funny thing is I have seen it before, but I can’t remember where... Lately I have seen it a lot... and then just now I paused for a second and asked my self, what does this picture represent? What is the meaning behind each of these colors? And the first thing that came to my mind was MY FRIENDS!

I am such a lucky girl to have the friends I have, I really am!

Here is a little insight into my life:

Growing up, I used to always consider my grandmother my best friend. Later in life when I started kindergarten and all the kids would have their own best friend their same age, I started feeling a little left out so I had to leave my grandma on the side (without her knowing of course) and had to go on the hunt for a real BEST FRIEND! That is when May came into my life. She was a sweet tiny little thing, she had (and still has) a beautiful radiant smile and the cutest little hands! We became friends instantly, I don’t remember exactly how, but it just happened! From one day to another her mom was already coming over to my house to ask for permission to take us out to ice-cream or for me to come over and play and in return my mom would also do the same. We had fun, lots of fun, together! One of my fondest memories of those days was how we used to hold hands when crossing the roads, it was like a human instinct, lets hold hands and be there for each other no matter what, and to this day I feel the same way!

After May left Havana because her parents decided to change sceneries, I struggled to find another super best friend like her. I had friends, and once in a while we would play together but it never felt the same. Years went by, I started high school and became friendlier and had no trouble finding people to always be around, but none of them were considered best friends...

Then came the ISH (International School of Havana) and that’s when trouble really kicked in, imagine! Now these kids didn’t even speak the same language as me, so how in the world was I going to make friends? Somehow luck stroke again and suddenly I was surrounded by potential best friends ready to take on the quest! There it was where Ida, Renata and Joelle came into my life.

Ida was everything but shy... she was wild and sexy, way ahead of my time (I am a late bloomer I must confess) but she had the biggest heart in the world, once you came to really know her there was no way you could ever leave her sight. Now, years later I am so grateful we manage to stay in touch, she lives in Norway and is studying to become the best Dr in the world and lives happily with her super hunk of a boyfriend Mr. Henrik! Renata was the life of the party, she taught me never to be afraid to show myself... to be who I am no matter what! She may not know this but the years we shared have forever remained in my heart and I still to this day keep all our journals. She is now on her way to become a dancer, she dances beautifully and expresses every feeling she has through her movements…its incredible to watch. I hope one day I get to see her again dancing live. Joelle, well, she is one of a kind. She was a very shy girl, and somehow I think I contributed to helping her come out of her shell and she has now blossomed, or let me rephrase (with all respect) still blossoming to become a great woman one day. I would always keep her close to my heart and I like to think of her as my first MEXICAN best friend...!

As you can well see (or read) by now, I am nothing short but friendly!! =) and I find it very easy to make friends, but true friends are hard to find, they have something that touches you in a special way and life just doesn’t seem the same without them, at least that is how I feel.

This new chapter of my life, the one that I started writing when I arrived in Canada 10 years ago has many chapters still to be read but I am very proud to say that like the others it has come filled with amazing friends! Oh! Where do I start!? They are all so very special, it would be hard to put in words how much they all mean to me and how my life has become richer every second we have spent together. All I can do is be grateful, forever thankful to have each and every one of them share this amazing journey that is life together. Like the picture, all my friends represent a different color in my life and together they make an amazingly beautiful radiant rainbow that I couldn’t live without. My life would have never been the same without them and I would have definitely not have become who I am today if it wasn’t for them. They have each literally planted seeds of love and hope in my heart that has grown immensely and become and amazing colorful garden that we will each enjoy for the rest of our lives. The experiences we share, the love and tender care, its hard to describe, hard to translate... its pure joy! It is pure energy and pure love.

LOVE LOVE LOVE! is all I have to give and all I have received from each and everyone of them... been your friend has been the most precious gift and I promise to keep you all in my heart for as long as I shall live. In my heart you will safe, always protected, I will color with each and every one of you the days of life from until forever.

Thank you. Thank you for been such amazing friends who inspire me every day, who give me reason to smile and to be a better person and a better friend every day.

You are all my army of colors, my army of love; with you by my side I can conquer the world!

Cheers to you, to your true colors and to love!!

"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

This is one of my favorite quotes; I read it in my first Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul book a few years ago. My mother in those days found it very hard to talk to me (I don’t blame her) and decided to buy me as many books as she thought I could relate to as possible, you can imagine my collection nowadays.


The Chicken Soup collection is truly amazing, it shares with their readers many different stories, anecdotes, experiences, from different people, in this case teenagers and it is guaranteed that someone, anyone, will always find one they can also relate to. I found a few. There are many other Chicken Soup books that have been published over the years that I have yet to read, one that comes to mind is the "Chicken Soup for Mother and Daughters Soul", I am sure my mom would appreciate it.


Well back to the quote... when I think of it I can think of so many things, people, experiences that I can relate it to; one of them been my first true love.

Her name (very long) was Candelaria Ofelia Pirez Melgares. I don’t remember exactly the first time I saw her, how I reacted or what she was wearing but I do remember when I came to know of her existence and that, I can describe as the most amazing day in my life. I remember always feeling warm and cuddly inside when i saw her and all I ever wanted to do was be near her and feel her, hug her, wrap my arms around her or slowly manage to get her to wrap hers around me... she always smelled so sweet, and when anyone asked her what perfume she wore, she would respond with the most sensual smile "that is my natural smell my love, I was born with it". She was hard to read, and I came to realize that over the 22 years we spent together. Some people would describe her as a sweet loving person, others would say she was tough and rough, but it all really depends on how you met her or came about knowing her. She was my grandmother and to this day one of my first loves. I have never felt love for anyone the same way I have felt for her. Of course, love is expressed and felt differently for everyone you meet, but the love i have for her and the love i know she has for me is one of those some may refer to as "one of a kind".

In my eyes: she was gentle like a flower and in some days will shed so many tears from all the hurt, but at the same time she was a tiger... she was ready to attack anyone that came near any one of us (her family) hurt us in any way, disrespected us or insulted us... she was defensive, she was expressive, she was vibrant, she was LIFE. She was a unique human being, an amazing friend, a great supporter, had a huge heart, a beautiful smile, and a hard worker. In our neighborhood everyone came to her for support, Candita as they would call was everyone's life savior. Whenever anything needed to be done they knew where to go for help, my house was always full of people. In my school, some of the kids would always wonder if she was my mom, and then would make fun of me because of how old she was, but I didn’t care, on the contrary, I was proud of having her play the part, she was different from every other mom.

Our time together was cut short when she fell ill 5 years ago to Colon Cancer. She struggled for a few years and just when she was recovering and re-gaining hope doctors discovered the Cancer had spread. She suffered, yes, and that is one of the things that hurt me the most to this day, watching such a gentle soul who gave so much of herself to her family her friends and the world suffer the way she did. During her last days she managed to be strong enough to travel from Havana (my home city) to Toronto, to visit my parents and me. My uncle, aunt, and two cousins joined us shortly after. We had one of the most memorable family reunions ever. During that time she was weak, she spoke softly, she moved slowly, but she never once complained! She never once asked for help! When it was time for her to leave, she didn’t say Good Bye, she said "Laura, don’t cry, I will see you soon, I promise. I will always be with you". Three days after she arrived back in Havana she passed away, at home alone in her bed.


Losing someone is hard, very hard. The days seem longer and the sadness inside seems endless, but somehow we must all see the light, the light within ourselves and the light within those we have lost. I am thankful, I am grateful I am forever happy and joyful to have loved her the way I did and to have shared with her those years of my life. Although I feel our time together was cut short very rapidly, I believe it happened that way for a reason. I feel that it was worth all this tears and all this pain to have had her in my life all those days.


Today is the anniversary of her death and I feel so blessed!

I feel blessed to feel this immense love I feel for my grandmother; to have come to know her and live in her presence; to have had the pleasure of sharing her light and living in her faith. I love life today because of her. I can feel her with me, inside my heart always. I pray for her soul and always send her way all my love, and all my light hoping it can reach her in someway and help spirit live on forever... SHINING STRONG!


I love you, I will love you always. I loved you and I lost you in person, but I love you and I love you every day even more in spirit. You bring my soul hope. Thank you for showing me this kind of LOVE.


Te quiero mucho Tata! Te adoro!